Sunday, August 19, 2012

Testify to Justify

One of the things that my mom will do is to ask us to make something for her.  She can never seem to just ask and leave it at that, though.  She always has to give a reason for asking.  It's gotten to the point that after 3 years of telling her she doesn't have to have a reason, we've given up.  She continues to justify her requests.  She will do the same thing when giving reasons for changing her mind or her plans.  Some of them have bordered on the ridiculous.

My mom practically lives in nightgowns.  If she gets dressed, it's usually in light weight clothing like a khaki skirt and a 3/4 sleeve top.  Not the best choices for someone who gets cold all year round!  This past winter I actually got her into sweats and it helped, but not all the time.  When she gets cold she usually wants a hot beverage or hot food.  She will ask me to make her some hot chocolate or hot coffee "because I'm so cold".  If I ask what she wants for dinner sometimes she'll ask for Ramen noodles.  "I want Ramen because I'm cold" or  "I want Ramen to warm me up".  She also uses being cold to have Cream of Wheat or soup.  It goes the other way, too.  "Could I have a milkshake?, my throat is parched" or "Do you have any Sprite?, my throat is hot".  She wants ice cream with Craisins because she heard cranberries were good for you.  I asked her if she just wanted a handful of Craisins.  Silly me, she was justifying the ice cream!  I told her once that she need not give reasons to explain her requests.  That if she wants or needs something, then just ask.  Period.  She continues to justify.

She's canceled doctors' appointments weeks ahead because someone is expected to visit.  Now the visit wouldn't coincide with the appointment.  In fact, the visit is either planned for days before or days after.  I actually canceled an appointment for her once because we were having company the following month!  It's as if she can't multi-task even if it's weeks apart.  The other day after I washed her hair she mentioned that she would've had me do it the day before except it was Alex's birthday.  Alex would've been asleep then as he was when I did do her hair!  She also gives explanations for not getting up, not taking a shower, not walking with her walker, but being pushed in the wheelchair.  She said once that she had removed her hearing aid at 6 because she'd be going to 8!  She then proceeded to be yelled at by everyone for 2 hours since she couldn't hear!  Then she complained that we were yelling at her.  Oy vey!

I figure that these moments will be talked about in my family long after my mother is gone.  It may frustrate us now, but it is an endearment and we know it.  When we remember how she did these things, we will smile.